Sarah Palin: The Political World’s Samus Aran?

The release of Metroid: Other M for the Wii this week inspired me to write something that’s been swirling around the ol’ noggin for a while now.

Is Sarah Palin the political world’s Samus Aran?

Samus Aran is the heroine of the Metroid series of Nintendo exclusive video games.  From Wikipedia, “Metroid chronicles the missions of bounty hunter Samus Aran who protects the galaxy from the depredations of the Space Pirates and their attempts to harness the power of fictional organisms such as the eponymous Metroids. It is noted for having one of the first female protagonists in a video game, and for its nonlinear gameplay.”

You can find the basic Metroid series info here.

This observation about Governor Palin and Samus Aran, although based upon the entire series, is most influenced by the later games, Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion.

The core comparison comes from the general themes of the Metroid games.

A) Samus comes to a strange place (planet or space station) that needs exploration to figure out what is going on.

B) Her armor and weapons, for the most part, are destroyed, taken away, or become limited at first.

C) Through exploration, both new & old weapons & armor upgrades are found and put to use, allowing further exploration and firepower against stronger foes, ultimately resulting in the abilities necessary to defeat the final boss/antagonist.

How does this compare to Sarah Palin on the national level?

Think about it.  She is raised in one of the most rugged and independent states in the union.  Some would even posit Alaska may represent another world.  She is called, much like Samus is called to go on missions, to head to a new and unfamiliar place to explore (her VP selection resulting in exploration of the grand stage of national and presidential politics).  Upon arriving at full power, something happens to destroy or limit Samus’ abilities, much like the Katie Couric & Charlie Gibson interviews (along with a ridiculous media narrative) did to Sarah Palin.

This is happening much like in Metroid Fusion, where the X-parasite nearly kills Samus on a space station, resulting in most of her Power Suit being removed (hence, losing most abilities).  She is saved when researches create a vaccine made from the DNA of the baby Metroid (the X-parasites natural predator) Samus discovers at the end of Metroid II. The vaccine not only stops the X-parasite from harming Samus, but it now allows her to absorb it to power up her energy and weapons.

Couric and Gibson initially did the damage to the Palin Power Suit.  Then, just as the X-parasites and Space Pirates nearly destroyed Samus, the leftist media organizations and those in her own state, saw the opening and attacked mercilessly until Sarah Palin was nearly destroyed…at least in the eyes of the broader electorate.

Then came July 3, 2009.  That day Governor Palin declared she would no longer be held hostage and slowly buried alive by an avalanche of false accusations; that her state should be allowed to move on without the media parasites and the local “space pirate” hacks slowly trying to drain the life out of her, and by extension, paralyze her state.

Her resignation as Governor did what was thought politically suicidal, but in reality was just her getting back on her feet and using the DNA of freedom to start to recoup and, eventually, fight back.

Now, she’s in the exploration and upgrade phase. 

Missiles are one of the first upgrades to be found in a Metroid game, and a larger capacity can be carried as the game progresses via additional “tanks.”  Governor Palin has been acquiring missiles all along…that would be those who happily call themselves Palinistas, mama & papa grizzlies, and just plain supporters.

Sometimes missiles are just not enough and a Super Missile is required to progress in the Metroid universe.  These would be her endorsements; in particular, the one’s who win.

Another weapon Sarah Palin has acquired is the Power Bomb.  Samus can use these to clear entire rooms of enemies (Super Metroid) and gain access to previously unreachable areas (Super/Fusion/Zero Mission).  Palin’s Power Bombs are called Facebook notes.  Is there any doubt that with, as Tammy Bruce states, “Type, Type, Type, Send,” the entire complexion and timeline for Obamacare passage was changed with the simple Power Bomb of “death panels” (still a misunderstood phrase to this day)?

The Ice Beam upgrade allows Samus to freeze enemies in all of the 2D series games.  This device allows her to use enemies to stand on, when frozen, to access further areas, or, just to be shattered with another weapon (usually a missile).  The mere presence of Palin, and in some cases, “Palinistas,” causes most politicos and pundits to, at the very least, pause, if not outright stop, to asses as she zooms on by.  A recent example is when two New Hampshire Democrats had their aspirations for higher office “frozen” after making statements to suggest their pleasure had Palin been on the airplane that crashed resulting in the death of the late Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens.

The Grapple Beam is used primarily to access new areas in Metroid.  Sarah’s Grapple Beam is SarahPAC: “Dedicated to building America’s future, supporting fresh ideas and candidates who share our vision for reform and innovation.” This allows her to spread her influence and access to previously thought unreachable areas.

In the Metroid series, the Plasma Beam is normally the last weapon one acquires.  It is the most powerful weapon in the game, and in the later series games, it is required to defeat the final boss.  Sarah has actually had her Plasma Beam this whole time; her unwavering belief in doing what she feels is right for this country.  Nothing thrown at her has caused her mission to waver.

Lastly, in the comparison realm, the Varia Suit is the most famous and recognizable armor upgrade that greatly reduces the damage Samus takes from enemies and environments.  Sarah Palin’s Varia Suit is her pure and unshakeable faith in God and his purpose for her life.

More interesting to note, is not so much upgrades and their comparison, but how the freedom from her office has allowed her to absorb media attacks like the Metroid DNA vaccine absorbed the X-parasite. There is a quote on texas4palin.com that states, “Every time a Democrat mocks Sarah Palin, an independent gets its wings.”  This is the freedom vaccine at work.  The parasites in the media can’t help themselves with her.  They attack relentlessly, all the while telling us how irrelevant she is.  This solidifies her supporters, and helps others to look into her and, at the very least, sympathize for her against such attacks (especially personal or family related), but potentially rethinking things and becoming full-fledged supporters themselves.  This only makes her stronger.

Is this analogy perfect?  No.  Samus Aran is a video game character who has unlimited chances to eventually reach her goal.  Samus’ next big mission also starts August 31, 2010.  Sarah, like you and me, is a real person.  Her next big mission (should she choose to accept it) is not coming for two more years.  Will she have explored her surroundings enough?  Will she have acquired all the upgrades needed to win?  Will she be ready for the final battle?  No one knows the answer to these questions, but I have a feeling she will have found 100% of the available power-ups/upgrades.  Will you be one of them?

–Jason

P.S. If you search for Sarah Palin as Samus Aran, you will find at least one, really bad picture.  I’d be interested if there are any aspiring artists who could do better.  Shoot them my way via politics4nerds.com.

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